In this week's article, we're going to be talking about comparison and why. Irrespective of the fact that oftentimes, comparison is a thief of joy. Comparison is necessary to enrich the experiences of our lives, and to ultimately inform how we experience things.
So this all begins with Theodore Roosevelt's famous line, “comparison is a thief of joy.” And we see this phrase everywhere, especially on social media. We see it all the time.
It's usually under posts in which someone has spoken well, how they've compared themselves to others, and now they're sad, or how they don't measure up, and they're not enough. How someone's accomplishment makes them feel small. And so this is why we shouldn't compare our lives with the lives of other people, because oftentimes we're not living the same experiences at once.
They might have a better advantage, they might have a lesser advantage. And irrespective of what the component or the factors that are contributing to their success, we shouldn't compare, because we're not the same people. Like comparing apples and oranges. They belong to the same category of fruits. Just like humans belong to the same category of humans, we are both people. But they're different.
And that difference is what makes us. And so comparing yourself to others, especially people who are more successful than you, who have accomplished more than you, steals the joy, because it reminds you of how far you still have left to get there, or the fact that you feel like you might never get there. But as much as comparisons do steal joy, and are the thieves of joy, comparisons are extremely important.
Comparison's True Purpose
Comparisons are necessary. Oftentimes, the more we compare, the more we learn about our experiences. And not just learn about the experience, but what is the experience teaching me?
What is this comparison showing me? Why is it important? Why does it matter to me?
The best way I can put it is that as human beings, we are creatures of comparisons, whether we like it or not. We can only understand certain experiences when we can compare them. For example, I know happiness because I know sadness. And I have something to compare it against its opposite. And because I know its opposite, I understand. I understand it. If I didn't know sadness, would I know what happiness is? Yes, I believe so. But understanding and knowing sadness as a richness to happiness, that not understanding sadness doesn't add. I have a deeper understanding of happiness because of sadness. It's like when you're cooking, and you put sugar and the meal is sweet, but then you put a pinch of salt, and now, now it's good. Because it adds a depth to the sweetness.
Now the sweetness tastes richer. And that's what comparison does. It enriches an experience for good or for bad.
Enriching Understanding
Because it's quite the opposite. I understand my experience of happiness is enriched because I understand sadness. I know what it's like to lose, to be sad, to experience sadness. And because of that, in this moment of happiness, I truly savor it more. Just because I know that I've gone seasons without this. But then it works the opposite way.
In times of sadness, I understand sadness more acutely because I know happiness, because I can compare it against it. And yes, you feel sadness even more acutely. And so for better or for worse, comparison is necessary to enrich our experiences and our understanding of ourselves, mentally, physically, spiritually.
So I think that we inherit the belief that comparison is a thief of joy. The moral of that is don't compare yourself or don't compare things. You know, negate comparison. And I think that that's wrong to accept. Because we miss out on enriching our experiences and our understanding of things because we fail to compare. We miss out on deepening our understanding of things because we're not comparing.
Comparison is not only important for the depth it brings to our understanding of an experience. By comparing, you understand the acute importance of savoring a thing because you understand that you could go seasons without it. And that's the thing about comparison, that oftentimes comparison is very much tied to lack.
Oftentimes, when we compare, it is never compared to someone that has less than what we have, but oftentimes more, or things that we perceive to be great or greater. To that, I say, don't forget, don't forget to compare yourself to those who have less than you, to so that you can enrich in your understanding of your experience by coming to terms with how lucky, grateful, and blessed you are. Comparison is also important because comparison, especially when you compare yourself to someone that has more than you, and they arouse these feelings.
Clarity from Comparison
It's a clear bridge for you about what things interest you, what things you give importance to. And comparison serves as a bridge between your current state and your desired state. And now you've gained an understanding of the things you will need to accomplish to balance the scales of that comparison, to feel like an equal to the person, thing, or idea you're comparing against.
So my phrase for comparison, I think, would be comparison is the bringer of clarity. I think that irrespective of what you're comparing, whether you're comparing yourself with someone that has more than you, or you're comparing yourself with someone that has less than you, each version and each experience will bring you clarity. Clarity in one experience about how much you have, how much you have to be grateful for, and then the other experience, clarity about your desires, about what you want, and the clarity of what that looks like in the 3D.
If, for example, it's in comparison of a person and how successful they are in their career, that gives you clarity, either about what path to choose in your career, about maybe seeking mentorship from people in similar roles, or a clear trajectory if there's available information about how they accomplish their success. Irrespective of what it is, it offers you clarity, the clarity you need to chart a course. So I know we inherited this belief that comparison is the thief of joy.
Beyond Inherited Beliefs
This was never an argument about it not being the thief of joy. Oftentimes, you will be sad. But if you're willing to leave inherited narratives behind, I would say that we should also invite in the fact that comparison is the bringer of clarity.
And oftentimes, clarity is what we need to move forward.
